The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

palatial magnificence

with 4 comments

“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 2 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.

As mentioned in an earlier posting, during the very hot months of the summer of 2012, Our Lady of the Pentacle secretly excavated a vast sub astorian cavern. She has spent the autumn preparing it for usage as a survival bunker during the long scheduled Mayan Apocalypse.

Luckily, she is quite adroit in such matters, and the place has come a long way in just a few months.

As of tonight, we will be descending the first 12 stories of steel stairs which lead us from the surface world into her so called “Hidey Hole”, seeking to ride out the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Bunker is a relatively recent addition to the English language to describe a military structure. According to the Oxford English Dictionary its is a “A military dug-out; a reinforced concrete shelter” and its first use was 13 October 1939 “A Nazi field gun hidden in a cemented ‘bunker’ on the Western front” (War Pictorial). The word is German in origin and was used by the Germans to describe bombproof shelters both above ground as in Hochbunker and below ground as in the Führerbunker. All the early references to its usage in the Oxford English Dictionary are to German fortifications. By 1947 the word was familiar enough in English that Hugh Trevor-Roper in The Last Days of Hitler was describing Hitler’s underground complex near the Reich Chancellery as “Hitler’s own bunker” without quotes around the word bunker.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Do not think of following us, for the methods and ingenuity of Our Lady are legend. She has installed numerous, and quite redundant, security systems which display differing degrees of lethality and camouflage.

Biometric and other identifying information is required to pass safely through these ingenious and active traps, and you are warned not to enter this space uninvited- should you stumble upon it in the radiation scarred aftermath of the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Underground homes are an attractive alternative to traditionally built homes for some house seekers, especially those who are looking to minimize their home’s negative impact on the environment. Besides the novelty of living underground, some of the advantages of underground houses include resistance to severe weather, an exceptionally quiet living space, an unobtrusive presence in the surrounding landscape, and a nearly constant interior temperature due to the natural insulating properties of the surrounding earth. The greatest draw for most, however, is the energy efficiency and environmental friendliness of such houses. Because of the stable subsurface temperature of the Earth, heating and cooling costs are often much lower in an underground house than in a comparable above-ground house. When combined with solar design, it is possible to eliminate energy bills entirely. Initial building costs are also often exceptionally low, as underground building is largely subtractive rather than additive, and because the natural materials displaced by the construction can be recycled as building materials. However, underground living does have certain disadvantages, such as the potential for flooding, which in some cases may require special pumping systems to be installed.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

We will miss you all, as we descend into a further 16 levels of steel reinforced masonry and heat resistant ceramic bricks. This zone will be filled with an inert gas, rendering the presence of oxygen nigh impossible. This vouchsafes us against being consumed in the firestorm which will surely consume the lamentable world above.

It has been nice knowing you. So long.

Even we will not be able to cross this threshold without specialized breathing apparatus, so it would be a terrible idea to try it in your weakened state- should you survive the initial and quite explosive trials which will initiate the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Inert gas is produced on board crude oil carriers (above 20000 tonnes) by using either a flue gas system or by burning kerosene in a dedicated inert gas generator. The inert gas system is used to prevent the atmosphere in cargo tanks or bunkers from coming into the explosive range. IG keeps the oxygen content of the tank atmosphere below 8% (on crude carriers, less for product carriers and gas tankers), thus making any air/hydrocarbon gas mixture in the tank too lean to ignite. IG is most important during discharging and during the ballast voyage when more hydrocarbon vapour is likely to be present in the tank atmosphere. Inert gas can also be used to purge the tank of the volatile atmosphere in preparation for gas freeing – replacing the atmosphere with breathable air – or vice versa.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

“Mad science” is a trait which runs strongly in Our Lady’s genealogy, and there are two workshop levels she has devoted to pure experimentation and whimsy. Arcane and wicked, her machinations are not for the faint of heart to witness. When those lightning thrashed experiments of hers are enacted- your humble narrator and our little dog cower and seek cover.

Such is the lot of those, who will seek to survive, in the days following the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

The prototypical fictional mad scientist was Victor Frankenstein, creator of his eponymous monster, who made his first appearance in 1818, in the novel Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley. Though Frankenstein is a sympathetic character, the critical element of conducting forbidden experiments that cross “boundaries that ought not to be crossed”, heedless of the consequences, is present in Shelley’s novel. Frankenstein was trained as both alchemist and modern scientist which makes him the bridge between two eras of an evolving archetype. The book is the precursor of a new genre, science fiction, though as an example of Gothic horror it is connected with other antecedents as well.

1896 saw the publication of H. G. Wells’ The Island of Doctor Moreau, in which the titular doctor – a controversial vivisectionist – has isolated himself entirely from civilization in order to continue his experiments in splicing human DNA into animals, heedless of the suffering he causes.

Another archetypal mad scientist is Faust, or Dr. Faustus. The Faust legend is a widely recognized and referenced example of selling one’s soul to the devil. In almost all cases, Faust is selling his soul for knowledge or supernatural power.

Fritz Lang’s 1927 movie Metropolis brought the archetypical mad scientist to the screen in the form of Rotwang, the evil genius whose machines gave life to the dystopian city of the title. Rotwang’s laboratory influenced many subsequent movie sets with its electrical arcs, bubbling apparatus, and bizarrely complicated arrays of dials and controls. Portrayed by actor Rudolf Klein-Rogge, Rotwang himself is the prototypically conflicted mad scientist; though he is master of almost mystical scientific power, he remains slave to his own desires for power and revenge. Rotwang’s appearance was also influential – the character’s shock of flyaway hair, wild-eyed demeanor, and his quasi-fascist laboratory garb have all been adopted as shorthand for the mad scientist “look”.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

The next level down is a maze of seemingly undifferentiated and innocuous electrical equipment- in actuality this is a gigajoule charged snare designed to entrap the curious and technical minded. One touch, and you shall find yourself at the center of a bluish white arc of lightning, energetically dematerializing into an ashy shadow upon the floor.

You don’t screw around, during the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Execution by electrocution, using an electric chair, has been employed as an official method of capital punishment in only two countries, the United States and the Philippines, and is now almost obsolete. It was invented in the US in 1881 as a more humane alternative to hanging. It was promoted by inventor Thomas Edison, who built the first electric chair, and conducted many public tests on animals, using alternating current (AC) electricity. Part of Edison’s motivation was to make AC electricity look dangerous in the public eye, to give his competing DC electric distribution system an advantage in the war of the currents. The first person to be executed by electrocution was William Kemmler in New York’s Auburn prison on August 6, 1890. One thousand volts was passed through his body for 17 seconds, however he was found to be still breathing and a second shock of 2000 volts was required to kill him.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

A switch hidden in a dark recess opens an aperture to the next level, where the vast supplies of fresh water stored by Our Lady are recirculated and maintained. She has indicated that there are several layers of defensive cordon installed in this vast chamber, but insists that I don’t speak of them. She asked me to pass on this: “if you are hungry for death, come see me, for I am the flail of god”.

She really needs a cup of tea.

My personal fears center around those half dead hordes of thirsty Queensicans, roaming the parched surface of a blasted earth, after the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Based on crater formation rates determined from the Earth’s closest celestial partner, the Moon, astrogeologists have determined that during the last 600 million years, the Earth has been struck by 60 objects of a diameter of 5 km (3 mi) or more. The smallest of these impactors would release the equivalent of ten million megatons of TNT and leave a crater 95 km (60 mi) across. For comparison, the largest nuclear weapon ever detonated, the Tsar Bomba, had a yield of 50 megatons.

Besides direct effect of asteroid impacts on a planet’s surface topography, global climate and life, recent studies have shown that several consecutive impacts can have effect on the dynamo mechanism at a planet’s core responsible for maintaining the magnetic field of the planet, and can eventually shut down the planet’s magnetic field.

While numerous impact craters have been confirmed on land or in the shallow seas over continental shelves, no impact craters in the deep ocean have been widely accepted by the scientific community. Impacts of projectiles as large as 1 km in diameter are generally thought to explode before reaching the sea floor, but it is unknown what would happen if a much larger impactor struck the deep ocean. The lack of a crater, however, does not mean that an ocean impact would not have dangerous implications for humanity. Some scholars have argued that an impact event in an ocean or sea may create a megatsunami (a giant wave), which can cause destruction both at sea and on land along the coast, but this is disputed.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

No permanent installations of easy egress- neither stairs nor ramps- are available after this floor, which is found at some undisclosed number of levels beneath Astoria. All the ladders you see in these shots will be pulled away and secured, after the blast hatches leading to them have been hermetically sealed and welded.

Such precautions are sound and reasonable, after the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

A basic fallout shelter consists of shields that reduce gamma ray exposure by a factor of 1000. The required shielding can be accomplished with 10 times the thickness of any quantity of material capable of cutting gamma ray exposure in half. Shields that reduce gamma ray intensity by 50% (1/2) include 1 cm (0.4 inch) of lead, 6 cm (2.4 inches) of concrete, 9 cm (3.6 inches) of packed dirt or 150 m (500 ft) of air. When multiple thicknesses are built, the shielding multiplies. Thus, a practical fallout shield is ten halving-thicknesses of packed dirt, reducing gamma rays by approximately 1024 times (210).

Usually, an expedient purpose-built fallout shelter is a trench; with a strong roof buried by c. 1 m (3 ft) of dirt. The two ends of the trench have ramps or entrances at right angles to the trench, so that gamma rays cannot enter (they can travel only in straight lines). To make the overburden waterproof (in case of rain), a plastic sheet may be buried a few inches below the surface and held down with rocks or bricks.

Blast doors are designed to absorb the shock wave of a nuclear blast, bending and then returning to their original shape.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Long suffering, Our Lady- in her infinity of capacity and capability- has erected a Byzantine maze of seemingly identical industrial hallways leading off to seeming infinity on the next level down. She has warned me that care must be paid, lest inattention carry me or the dog down one of the “wrong” directions. Apparently, she has been experimenting with biological organisms, some of which are best described as a corrupt and protoplasmic form of life. She claims that if you have made it this far, there is only a one in a thousand chance that you’ll make it past her pets.

She calls them “level bosses”.

Such blasphemies, I fear, will be quite common, in the days following the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Biological agents have the ability to adversely affect human health in a variety of ways, ranging from relatively mild allergic reactions to serious medical conditions, including death. Many of these organisms are ubiquitous in the natural environment where they are found in water, soil, plants, or animals. Bio-agents may be amenable to “weaponization” to render them easier to deploy or disseminate. Genetic modification may enhance their incapacitating or lethal properties, or render them impervious to conventional treatments or preventives. Since many bio-agents reproduce rapidly and require minimal resources for propagation, they are also a potential danger in a wide variety of occupational settings.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

It should not be inferred that Our Lady has been concerning herself with some mere plague.

Instead, her experiments have resulted from a chance reference I made one evening about one of H.P. Lovecraft’s creations. The great author described an engineered debasement of life which could spawn organs and appendages as needed, recombining them back into the central mass when no longer needed. These drone organisms performed the role of servant laborers and sometime soldiers for their fictional masters.

Should they be needed, an army of these so called Shoggoths will rise to serve her, in the weeks following the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Being amorphous, they could take on any shape needed, making them very versatile within their aquatic environment. Though able to “understand” the Elder Things’ language, they had no real consciousness and were controlled through hypnotic suggestion.

The shoggoths built the underwater cities of their masters. Over millions of years of existence, some shoggoths mutated and gained independent minds. Some time after this, they rebelled. Eventually, the Elder Things succeeded in quelling the insurrection, but thereafter watched them more carefully. By this point, exterminating them was not an option as the Elder Things were fully dependent on them for labor and could not replace them. It was during this time that, despite their masters’ wishes, they demonstrated an ability to survive on land.

Within the Mythos, the existence of the shoggoths possibly led to the accidental creation of Ubbo-Sathla, a god-like entity supposedly responsible for the origin of all life on Earth, though At The Mountains of Madness brings up the possibility of the Elder Things being the creators, having made early life as discarded experiments in bioengineering.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Redundant workstations and control rooms for a supercomputer she has installed, a well hidden and necessary tool for controlling the multitudinous devices and security systems in our bunker, are located in several hardened sectors of our personal anthill. The artificial intelligence is programmed to react badly to any who try to access it except for Our Lady, the dog, and myself.

It is my understanding that just one of the death traps in this room involves a gelatin bullet which encases a needle of potassium cyanide loaded into a motion activated and highly accurate automatic rifle. When the bullet strikes, it shatters, and the soluble poison needle is driven into the skin. Death is near instantaneous.

Our Lady of the Pentacle doesn’t fool around, after the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Dr. Charles A. Forbin is the chief designer of a secret government project. He and his team have built an advanced supercomputer, called “Colossus”, to control all of the United States and Allied nuclear weapons systems. Colossus is built to be impervious to any attack, encased within a mountain and powered by its own nuclear reactor. When it is activated, the President of the United States announces its existence, proudly proclaiming it a perfect defense system that will ensure peace.

Shortly after the broadcast ends, Colossus displays a cryptic message on its screens: “WARN: THERE IS ANOTHER SYSTEM”. It is revealed that Colossus is referring to a Soviet project very similar to itself; a supercomputer called “Guardian” that controls Soviet nuclear weapons. Both computers promptly demand a link to allow them to communicate with one another.

The link is set up, whereupon the computers exchange messages of simple mathematics. Scientists and officials of both sides monitor the activity on video screens. The communications become increasingly complex, eventually extending into mathematics that are unknown to mankind. Then the two machines begin communicating in a binary language that the scientists cannot interpret.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

This computer system has already cached a large online bookseller’s entire site, as well as the entire library of certain streaming video services. Additionally, it has cracked open a large online music store and downloaded several terabytes of carefully chosen musical data. There will be no autotune in the world of tomorrow, if I have anything to say about it.

Despite the lead shielding and faraday cages she has embedded into the walls, Our Lady has ensured four bars of wifi support throughout the sub astorian complex, allowing remote access to the network of security cameras and poison blow darts. We can kill using our phones.

My girl, she was a wonder before, but her talents truly will shine during the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

The main chambers have 15 buildings that stand free of the rock walls or roofs and are joined by flexible vestibule connections–12 buildings are 3 stories tall and others are 1 and 2 stories. For earthquakes or NUDET ground shocks, buildings are on 1,380 steel springs weighing about 1,000 pounds (450 kg) and allowing 12 inches (30 cm) of movement. Building shells are ⅜ inch (9.5 mm) continuously welded low carbon steel plates which are supported by structural steel frames. Metal walls and tunnels provide electromagnetic pulse shielding (metal doors help contain fire/smoke.) Services include a dining facility, medical facility with dental office, pharmacy and a two-bed ward; two physical fitness centers with exercise equipment and sauna; a small base exchange and barber shop are all located within the complex.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Unfortunately, since we will be severing all but outgoing traffic from our computer networks to ensure that no harmful radio frequencies damage our equipment- down in the “Hobbitton” like living quarters at the base of this inverted skyscraper of hers, we will be completely unaware of what is happening “up top”.

Good luck to you lords and ladies.

Do your best to enjoy these final hours, before the Mayan Apocalypse.

from wikipedia

Human extinction is the end of the human species. Various scenarios have been discussed in science, popular culture and religion (see End time). The scope of this article is existential risks. Humans are very widespread on the Earth, and live in communities which (whilst interconnected) are capable of some kind of basic survival in isolation. Therefore, pandemic and deliberate killing aside, to achieve human extinction, the entire planet would have to be rendered uninhabitable, with no opportunity provided or possible for humans to establish a foothold beyond Earth. This would typically be during a mass extinction event, a precedent of which exists in the Permian–Triassic extinction event among other examples.

About these ads

Written by Mitch Waxman

December 19, 2012 at 12:15 am

4 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Jeeze Mitch, talk about gilding the lily!
    I would advise caution in such blind trust in some Rube Goldbergesque plot to escape the apocalypse.
    Typically, the more vast and complex the system, the more likely the failure of that system due to a small overlooked error or failure of one of its elements. Especially in new and/or untested designs. Even a seemingly trivial problem can set off a chain of events that lead to catastrophy and one of those deliciously wicked Twilight Zone ironic twist endings. It’s not fair….

    In short, in attempting to thwart fate, one may inadvertenly cause themselves to meet their fate. Appointment in Samarra anyone?

    So chill, dude! If the apocalypse were to happen it’s guaranteed to be the show of a lifetime so why not come out and watch the fun…. or relax with the Honeymooners marathon which is more likely to happen

    Cav

    December 19, 2012 at 1:30 am

  2. “And wait’ll you see how this furniture looks in a Park Avenue apartment!” – Ralph Kramden to his wife Alice.

    (The Honeymooners “Apocalypse” in just 13 days.)

    georgetheatheist

    December 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm

  3. Is there a wine cellar?

    Phillip Musegaas

    December 19, 2012 at 9:57 pm

  4. [...] December 2012- palatial magnificence [...]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 859 other followers

%d bloggers like this: