The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

linger strangely

with 4 comments

The fedora district of Long Island City.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

Last week, one found himself wandering desperately through the Fedora District.

A term of my own invention, as it seems like the sort of spot built for and by fellows who routinely placed felt hats upon their heads when leaving the house. My sweaty desperation was brought on by certain bodily functions which were calling for, nay, demanding attention.

Simply put, I had to poop, drop a deuce, or extrude ex food.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

One of the big problems experienced all over the megalopolis is a lack of publicly available rest rooms.

For some reason, the credentialed urban planners of the world do not acknowledge human biology in their calculations, nor require accessible bathrooms from the real estate people in exchange for their tax breaks and $1 land deals.

This is why people piss on their green infrastructure, there’s no where else to go.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

I should have stopped at the diner on Jackson to take care of business, but didn’t have the money or time to spend on a cup of joe or similar item as a ransom for relief. Urgency commanded one to double time it back to Astoria and the comforts of those porcelain fixtures which we keep confined in a tile room. I, for one, urge the incoming Mayor’s transition team to consider the fact that humans will need to crap and pee occasionally.

“follow” me on Twitter- @newtownpentacle

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4 Responses

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  1. Didja make it back in time? Or did you crap in your pants?

    georgetheatheist...stool pigeon

    December 11, 2013 at 11:13 am

    • I would have mentioned it.

      Mitch Waxman

      December 11, 2013 at 11:50 am

      • Aw, c’mon, you’re so full of shit!

        Cav

        December 11, 2013 at 4:05 pm

      • You would have mentioned…what? Getting back in the nick-o-time or befouling your trousers?. BTW, you couldn’t have indeed stopped at that diner? What would a cup of joe cost you? With tip $2? No, instead you decided to “live on the wild side” – dancing, jumping and squeezing all the home Did you record the sound of relief as you finally sat on the throne? Must have been a high decibel level.

        georgetheatheist...stool pigeon

        December 12, 2013 at 10:51 am


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