The Newtown Pentacle

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Prejudice and Ursidae derision in today’s Columbus Day post.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Call me Ursophobic, but your humble narrator has had it up to some proverbial line – drawn somewhere around his eyebrows – with these occasionally bipedal inebriates who have been turning up in Astoria for the last few years. Admittedly, their days are difficult, but that’s no excuse for them to just pass out on the street in some honey induced stupor, like the derelict pictured above. Who are these bears, where did they come from, and why were they allowed to come here in the first place? Is it ok to pass out in the trash where they come from? I think not.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Does he have a family somewhere nearby, with a brood of anchor cubs? Is there some she bear staring out the window wondering where he is, growing increasingly anxious that he might be honey drunk again, or that the bees exacted a horrible revenge upon him? Where are the cops? How can a dangerously besotted creature like this be allowed to just pass out on Broadway in Astoria? This neighborhood is going to the caniforms, if you ask me, and I won’t be a bit surprised if in a couple of years Astoria is known as an Ursidae neighborhood. This is how it starts.

Upcoming Tours

Saturday – October 19, 2013
The Insalubrious Valley of the Newtown Creek with Atlas Obscura- tickets on sale now.

Sunday- October 20th, 2013
The Poison Cauldron of the Newtown Creek with Brooklyn Brainery- tickets on sale now.

“follow” me on Twitter- @newtownpentacle

Written by Mitch Waxman

October 14, 2013 at 11:44 am

One Response

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  1. No doubt the wretched ne’er do well is sated after feasting upon a “picky-nick” basket which he cunningly nicked from some unsuspecting park-goers and that other delinquent, his diminutive ursine associate, is off causing mischief elsewhere.

    Cav

    October 17, 2013 at 5:09 pm


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