The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

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Those Astoria Tumbleweeds… they’re back.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Friday the 3rd of January saw a humble narrator out early, as one had professional obligations to fulfill. While waiting for my breakfast sandwich to be assembled at a greasy spoon on Broadway, here in almond eyed Astoria, observation of a carefully placed and quite discarded Christmas tree occurred. It would have made the news if this coniferous corpse was placed in a bike lane, but instead…

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The ever reliable DSNY has posted an instructive page here, which describes the proper procedure for disposing of holiday cheer. The municipal organization has a large mulching operation set up to aid in the disposal of the seasonal cultivar, and no where in its list of specificities governing the process does it say “throw it into the middle of the street.” Ahh, Astoria.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The purchase of breakfast complete, one did not have time to watch the thing roll about in the street. Rather a somewhat epic journey was undertaken, wherein the longest and most expensive possible route (using mass transit) to Brooklyn was undertaken. Why do you need to leave the Long Island, traveling through Manhattan, to arrive at a spot on the Long Island less than 7 miles from your starting point? It’s just silly.

“follow” me on Twitter- @newtownpentacle

Written by Mitch Waxman

January 7, 2015 at 11:00 am

4 Responses

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  1. I was taking one of the cats to the vet the other day and spotted 3 goats eating a Christmas tree.

    jaye haviland

    January 8, 2015 at 4:59 am

  2. now i’m wondering how many goats are in Astoria (not counting the ones that are probably destined for restaurants, having read just the other day a food blog by a person who was eating goat in Woodside. no eating goats for me, thanks just the same).

    jaye haviland

    January 8, 2015 at 5:03 am

  3. Mitch: hi-tail it over to St. Joseph’s RC Church on 30th Avenue and 44th Street in that almond-eyed nabe. Bring your camera and check out in front of the church on both sides what can be done with Christmas trees.

    georgetheatheist . . . Oy Tannenbaum

    January 8, 2015 at 3:25 pm

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