The Newtown Pentacle

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morbid listening

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It’s a small world, after all.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Sometimes it seems like all of Western Queens is a visual parable, some Hollywood set piece or theme park designed by an otherwise unmentioned truly evil brother of Walt and Roy Disney – Dick Disney. The good news is that DickDisneyland doesn’t require an admission ticket, but enter at your own risk since it was designed by a real Dick. Of course, one of my postulates states that entire City of Greater New York is composed of five theme parks. I refer to Queens as “Adventureland,” the Bronx as “Frontierland,” Brooklyn as “Tomorrowland.” The big attraction for the punters is Manhattan the “Shining City,” and there’s always “Staten Epcot” but not many people visit that one. The world of tomorrow ain’t what it used to be, I fear.

Straddling the currently undefended border between Adventureland and Tomorrowland is the Newtown Creek attraction, and I’ll trust that you’ll find it a non obsequious and intrinsically interesting section of DickDisneyland during your next family friendly vacation to New York City.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

DickDisneyland has a litter problem, unfortunately, but try to view it as the stuff that future archaeologists will make their careers on, making their academic bones while studying our historic trash middens. It’s not just about entertainment here in the Creeklands (found just next door to Tomorrowland’s Sewer Mountain ride), it’s also educational. Over in Maspeth, nearby the Haberman rail siding, there’s going to be an animatronic showpiece and theater installed soon which will depict Dick Betts and the original Maspeth colonials scalping and killing the Lenape, followed by a live action raid of the theater by actors playing Maspeatche Warriors. At the end of it, the audience will be transported to Elmhurst to find out how that whole story ending up working out.

At the Haberman theater gift shop you’ll be able to buy jarred samples of Black Mayonnaise, small quantities of Peter Cooper’s Glue, and replica oil drums with commemorative certificates indicating the time and date of your visit to the Creeklands attraction here in DickDisneyland.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Management at DickDisneyland, it should be mentioned, enforces rules upon its employees and visitors which do not apply to themselves. Were a concession manager to maintain gigantic pools of standing water on their individual lots, enormous financial repurcussions would ensue as our management teams are terrified of mosquito infestation. You can’t have visitors and resident employees of DickDisneyland getting sick, after all. That would reflect poorly on the managers, and deny them promotion to higher positions within the organization.

On the properties directly administered by the management, however… well… who watches the watchers in DickDisneyland?

“follow” me on Twitter- @newtownpentacle

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  1. “You can’t have visitors and resident employees of DickDisneyland getting sick…

    Ah, yes from the West Nile virus which has had 500 reported cases state wide since 2000 or about 26 or 27 cases per year of which 37 people have died- already rather seriously ill, usually terminally ill before West Nile finished them off. Scary, right? We must do something.
    So we are going to such extraordinary lengths to prevent the spread of a disease that causes less deaths per year than lightning strikes.

    The masters and managers of DickDisneyland are most excellent at solving virtually non-existent or manufactured problems while creating new bureaucracies, expanding their regulatory power and spending flipping great wads of cash of politically connected contractors and pesticide manufacturers while collecting fines off politically expendable shlubs.

    Now who was it who said “Never let a good crisis go to waste”? Well, here in DickDisneyLand if we can’t find a good crisis then we manufacture it ourselves! Foward!
    AGW and the ozone hole, anyone?
    Now that’s progress, comrade!

    “That would reflect poorly on the managers, and deny them promotion to higher positions within the organization.”

    Wow, Mitch, I didn’t know you were funny.
    Seriously? You think these people really give a shit what happens to proles? They only care about the elite because they’re useful. They pay well in tribute and help keep real estate values high and promoting the Luxury Product City meme.

    So when things do go wrong, it’s all either a feature of the program and not a bug or it’s callous disregard for human life while implementing the program.


    “On the properties directly administered by the management, however… well… who watches the watchers in DickDisneyland?”

    I’ll answer this question: The Managerial State is a power unto itself, answerable to no one but itself and certainly not answerable to the citizens of either the prole or elite class.
    So what the fuck are ya gonna do about it?
    The Red Pill, Mitch, The Red Pill…

    Don Cavaioli


    August 15, 2018 at 1:01 pm

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