Archive for the ‘Queens’ Category
Ruby M. at Whale Creek
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Someone recently told me that this, your Newtown Pentacle, was a mere paparazzi rag for infrastructure and heavy industry- which made me laugh out loud.
Then, depressed, disturbed, and frightened by even good natured criticism I retreated into a sulking and jealous rage. All ‘effed up, I threw together my little ensemble of camera bag and headphones and set off for the Newtown Creek. When I got to the Pulaski Bridge, it was open and I realized that I had just missed a Tugboat passing through. ARRGHH!!!
What I did see though, was this flatbed truck carrying what appears to be remnants of a Roosevelt Island Tramway tower in the direction of Greenpoint.
“Could this be some sort of super Crow?” thought your humble narrator…
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Brutally hot, vast misty shelves of humid air blanketed the terrain when the Pulaski reconstituted itself into its roadway configuration via those electrical engines that operate its double bascule mechanism. Tepid, the fetid air flow’s tortuous languor augmented that remarkable and certain odor which distinguishes the Newtown Creek watershed. At the apex of the arc which spans this part of that storied rivulet, this small boat was spied.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
As its markings indicate, this is the Emily Miller. A “Job” or Utility boat, Emily Miller is 31 feet long, 185 HP and based at Pier 7 1/2 in Staten Island at Miller’s Launch.
from millerslaunch.com
Miller’s Launch is a marine service company based on the North Shore of Staten Island, New York. With satellite terminals throughout New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, we have provided first-class service to the marine industry since 1977.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Nothing special, really, but since I missed the Tug… I decided to take some shots of it passing anyway. For a waterway that was once the busiest on Earth, the relative scarcity of traffic on Newtown Creek these days makes any vessel plying its poison expanse notable.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
My endless wanderings found your humble narrator once more at the Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Plant Nature Walk, always an easy egress point for observing the malefic realities of Newtown Creek and one of the few water level access points open to the general public along the great canal. To my wonder and joy, I found the tugboat that I had missed when the Pulaski (and this post) opened.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The tug is the Ruby M. operated by Dann Towing, but once once known as he Texaco Fire Chief when it was built in 1967 at the Jakobson Shipyard in Oyster Bay. Steel hulled, it is 95 feet long and has a gross tonnage of 197. It was sitting astride Whale Creek, and maneuvering a barge into position. Tugboats are seldom observed at work this close, and certainly -in my limited experience- it is a rare thing to see one in such a nearly static position relative to the camera.
Normally, you have to shoot fast to capture one, as it is hurtling past.
The Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Plant, incidentally, sits on the site of one those insane fires which Greenpoint seems to have been quite prone to and distinguished by during the heady days of the industrial revolution. Check out this NYtimes article from 1900 which describes the horror.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Daring contact with that which might exist in the shallow depths, your humble narrator descended those threatening steps found at the Nature Walk, and was rewarded with this found composition. Unlike most of the photos presented here, its presence is not meant to advance a narrative or illustrate a point- I just think its a neat shot.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Having little else to do, I hung around for a while to see if the Ruby M. was about to do something interesting. It didn’t, just repositioning itself further up the creek and tying off to a different barge than the one they had just delivered. Emily Miller’s role in the transaction seemed to have been completed as well, as it advanced past the rail bridges spanning the Dutch Kills tributary of the Newtown Creek.
mother of invention
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Another recent bit of serendipity experienced during a random walk, this time a bit further down Northern Blvd. and directly across the street from the Standard Motor Products building on 39th street, it seems that the good fellows who operate this largish delivery truck had experienced an unlucky turn when its engine suddenly stranded them. Luckily, they seemed to have a tiny red forklift on board, of a sort which I’ve always heard referred to as a “Bobcat”.
from wikipedia
Forklifts are rated for loads at a specified maximum weight and a specified forward centre of gravity. This information is located on a nameplate provided by the manufacturer, and loads must not exceed these specifications. In many jurisdictions it is illegal to remove or tamper with the nameplate without the permission of the forklift manufacturer.
An important aspect of forklift operation is that most have rear-wheel steering. While this increases maneuverability in tight cornering situations, it differs from a driver’s traditional experience with other wheeled vehicles. While steering, as there is no caster action, it is unnecessary to apply steering force to maintain a constant rate of turn.
Another critical characteristic of the forklift is its instability. The forklift and load must be considered a unit with a continually varying centre of gravity with every movement of the load. A forklift must never negotiate a turn at speed with a raised load, where centrifugal and gravitational forces may combine to cause a disastrous tip-over accident. The forklift are designed with a load limit for the forks which is decreased with fork elevation and undercutting of the load (i.e. load does not butt against the fork “L”). A loading plate for loading reference is usually located on the forklift. A forklift should not be used as a personnel lift without the fitting of specific safety equipment, such as a “cherry picker” or “cage”.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The inert truck was borrowing its motive power from the smaller and self propelled tool. Its driver clearly seemed embarrassed by all the attention he garnered. Several of us stood on the corners, males all, sporting broad smiles and cheering him on while he waited for a red light to turn. This sort of situation appeals to we men, I don’t know why, but it does.
I was betting on either the inadequate chain just sundering into constituents, or the forklift burning out its transmission before it moved the giant blue vehicle more than a couple of feet.
from wikipedia
A high-tensile chain, also referred to as a transport chain, is a link chain with a high tensile strength used for drawing or securing loads. This type of chain usually consist of broad (thick/heavy) metal, oblong torus-shaped links for high strength. All the links of the chain are usually identical, and on the ends are usually two hooks of the appropriate size and strength to slide easily over one chain link but small enough not let the links slip by. When the ability to grasp the load is required, a slip hook is used.
The chain used for tire chains on tractors and some automobiles for better traction is very similar; usually consisting of the same type of link, especially so for snow chains; however, instead of being a single chain, it is more of a network of interconnected chains with no hooked ends; the size and design of the network depending on the tire it was intended for.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The signal turned, and that tiny forklift and its driver wouldn’t let anything like the laws of Physics or the limits of engineering stop them from getting the truck moving.
Whom, indeed, says that an ant can’t move a rubber tree plant? Whom?
from wikipedia
They usually range in size 4 to 7 m in length, with smaller or larger sizes existing but being rare in North America. They usually have a garage door-like rear door that rolls up. On some box trucks, the cargo area is accessible from the cab through a small door.
Box trucks are usually used by companies that need to haul appliances or furniture. They are also used as moving trucks which can be rented from companies such as U-Haul or Ryder.
In North America, Ford, Dodge and Chevrolet/GMC have historically been the most common manufacturers of conventional cab/chassis to which various producers (called body builders or upfitters) attach the box that holds cargo. Isuzu, Mitsubishi Fuso and UD/Nissan Diesel have been the most common marketers of cabover-type medium duty cab/chassis used as platforms for box trucks. In North America, these trucks can range from Class 3 to Class 7 (12,500 lb. to 33,000 lb. gross vehicle weight rating, or GVWR).
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The drivers around these parts- borderland and angle between Sunnyside, Astoria, and Dutch Kills- are not exactly a sagacious or patient lot. Normal practice for them is to hit their horns in the quarter second before the traffic light goes from red to green, and to accelerate precipitously in an effort to “beat the lights”. Queens Plaza is nearby, and their probable destination of Manhattan- unlike Queens- is a heavily regulated and well policed thicket of traffic jams. This is their last chance to see the sky.
Well… not for long.
from wikipedia
A gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR) is the maximum allowable total mass of a road vehicle or trailer when loaded – i.e including the weight of the vehicle itself plus fuel, passengers, cargo, and trailer tongue weight.
The difference between gross weight and curb weight is the total passenger and cargo weight capacity of the vehicle. For example, a pickup truck with a curb weight of 4,500 pounds (2,041 kg) might have a cargo capacity of 2,000 pounds (907 kg), meaning it can have a gross weight of 6,500 pounds (2,948 kg) when fully loaded.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Witness the tenacity and determination of the American workforce- its inchoate improvisations and hazard ridden solutions that keep the machines running no matter what, its complete disregard for official procedure and personal safety -unstoppable, indefatigable, the children of necessity.
from wikipedia
New York State Route 25A (NY 25A) is a New York State highway and the main east–west route for most of the North Shore of Long Island, running from the Queens Midtown Tunnel in the New York City borough of Queens at its western terminus to Calverton in Suffolk County at its eastern end.
Known for its scenic route through decidedly lesser-developed areas such as Brookville, Fort Salonga, Centerport, and the Roslyn Viaduct, 25A begins as 21st Street in Long Island City. As you go farther through 25A, it is then known as Jackson Avenue for a short period and is variously named Northern Boulevard east of Queens Plaza (NY 25), North Hempstead Turnpike, Main Street, Fort Salonga Road, and North Country Road. It merges with NY 25 for approximately 1.5 miles (2.4 km) in Smithtown.
Old School
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Wandering aimlessly, your humble narrator recently encountered this rather badly equipped automobile just off Northern Blvd. The historic cradle of the automobile industry in New York City, this stretch of the great thoroughfare hosts several multi acre car lots, including the famous Major Auto World. This is the corner of 44th street.
from fundinguniverse.com
Bruce Bendell and his brother Harold began operating a Brooklyn carwash and auto repair shop in 1972. Subsequently they and their father sold used cars and leased new cars in Brooklyn before purchasing Major Chevrolet, a Long Island City distributor, in 1985. At this time the dealership was in decline, with only 500 cars and $10 million in annual sales. By 1990 sales had increased tenfold. In 1996 Bendell’s Major Automotive Group was doing about $180 million a year in business. One of New York’s largest auto dealerships, it now consisted of six franchises, including Major Chevrolet/Geo; Major Dodge; and Major Chrysler, Plymouth, Jeep Eagle, in Long Island City, plus, in Woodside–another Queens community–Major Subaru, in addition to Major Fleet and Leasing, the leading supplier of taxis and police cars in New York and also a lessor of trucks.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
I haven’t witnessed a car deconstructed in this manner for many years, perhaps as many as twenty. Once a common sight in the City of Greater New York, before “Giuliani Time“, this car was stripped of wheels and electronics, and the entire act probably took less than five minutes to accomplish- if the professionalism of the thieves guild has held up since the old days.
from wikipedia
Starting in 2005, New York City achieved the lowest crime rate among the ten largest cities in the United States. Since 1991, the city has seen a continuous fifteen-year trend of decreasing crime. Neighborhoods that were once considered dangerous are now much safer. Violent crime in the city has dropped by three quarters in the twelve years ending in 2005 with the murder rate at its lowest then level since 1963 with only 539 murders that year, for a murder rate of 6.58 per 100,000 people, compared to 2,245 murders in 1990. In 2009, the low would be displaced. Among the 182 U.S. cities with populations of more than 100,000, New York City ranked 136th in overall crime.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
I’ve been sort of expecting to see this sort of thing to start up again, and no, it’s not because there are fewer police these days.
Classic right wing thinking, a sort of disastrous chest thumping and braggadocio practiced by the safe and protected, is to proclaim “more cops” as a panacea for any and all of society’s ills. I thought that the right had learned the lesson of this at Waco, and at Ruby Ridge. We don’t need more cops, we just have to offer them better pay, support staff, and on the job training- but I guess that’s latent socialism talking.
Happy Monday.
an article from 1993, nearly twenty years ago, at the nytimes…
Last year, from January through September, 94,724 vehicles were stolen in New York City. That’s about 126,000 cars a year, or 345 a day. New York City leads the U.S. in auto thefts, with 139,977 in 1991, or twice the number reported by the second place finisher, Los Angeles. Despite the number of cases, or perhaps because of it, the police seem uninterested in the average theft.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The Police clean up the mess after a crime- but they seldom are there when it’s being committed. Even during “Giuliani Time” or the long and notable tenure of the current Commissioner, the combination of a booming job market and mandatory sentencing were the direct causal factors in a reduction of crime here in the Naked City. The spate of 10-15 year sentences handed out so liberally in the 1990’s are coming to an end, and New Yorkers will once again know the true meaning of the word “Scumbag”.
from nyc.gov
If Your Car Does Get Stolen
Report theft to police.
- Obtain form MV78B “License Plate Form” from your local police precinct.
- Notify your insurance company.
- Submit Form MV78B to Department of Motor Vehicle.
- Retain a copy of Department of Motor Vehicle Form as a receipt.
NOTE: False reporting of vehicle theft is a crime and can be punishable by a fine or imprisonment.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
“It’s the economy, stupid”- When your baby is hungry, you do crazy things to put food on the table. The parents of fat, happy babies generally don’t do this to automobiles- or strap dynamite to themselves and blow up buses for that matter. Old school crime like this happens quickly, this car was probably stripped down within minutes, and the fact that a “chop shop” didn’t dissect it for black market body parts also speaks to the greater economy’s relative weakness.
from wikipedia
In his first term as mayor, Giuliani, in conjunction with New York City Police Department Commissioner Bill Bratton, adopted an aggressive enforcement-deterrent strategy based on James Q. Wilson’s “Broken Windows” approach. This involved crackdowns on relatively minor offenses such as graffiti, turnstile jumping, cannabis possession, and aggressive “squeegeemen”, on the theory that this would send a message that order would be maintained. Giuliani and Bratton also instituted CompStat, a comparative statistical approach to mapping crime geographically and in terms of emerging criminal patterns, as well as charting officer performance by quantifying criminal apprehensions. Critics of the system assert that it creates an environment in which police officials are encouraged to underreport or otherwise manipulate crime data.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
We’ve become accustomed to walking about the city, these days, as if we were safe or something. That existential horror did not lurk along the brightly lit path of shambolic corporate fantasies and elaborate real estate schemes, and that a nightmare population of atavist monsters were not returning from exile to walk amongst us, and do what they wilt- which shall become the whole of the law.
Again.
also from the nytimes
A raging crack epidemic in pockets of New York poured people into its jails starting in the late 1980s and early 1990s. The population peaked in 1992, according to correction officials, when the daily average hit 21,449 and the annual intake reached 111,045.
But by the end of the last fiscal year on June 30, 2009, the average daily population had dwindled to 13,362, while the number of inmates admitted that year shrank to 99,939. This year, both figures appear likely to be even lower.
shivering gargoyles
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Gilman, Gilman, Gilman.
That note, attached to governmental correspondence, was signed Gilman. Impossible, unbelievable, and beyond sane reasoning… Gilman. As your humble narrator scuttled along in miserable mood, that certain day, I became convinced that my name was being called from some unknown point beyond the bulkheaded fence lines adorning that sewer fed ribbon of urban lore called the Newtown Creek.
I first heard the voice, while deep in denial at the Pulaski Bridge, a whispered gutteral which seemed like an isolated phenomena.
from wikipedia
Tutti Acceptance typically contains the concept of approval, it is important to note that in the psychospiritual use of the term infers non-judgmental Acceptance is contrasted with resistance, but that term has strong political and psychoanalytic connotations not applicable in many contexts. By groups and by individuals, acceptance can be of various events and conditions in the world; individuals may also accept elements of their own thoughts, feelings, and personal histories. For example, psychotherapeutic treatment of a person with depression or anxiety could involve fostering acceptance either for whatever personal circumstances may give rise to those feelings or for the feelings themselves. (Psychotherapy could also involve lessening an individual’s acceptance of various situations.)
Notions of acceptance are prominent in many faiths and meditation practices. For example, Buddhism’s first noble truth, “All life is suffering”, invites people to accept that suffering is a natural part of life. The term “Kabbalah” means literally acceptance.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Isolating myself in a guilty agony, hiding behind dark sunglasses and a long iPhone playlist which had finally wound- inevitably- to the darker side of Patti Smith, I skirted the Creek and made for the River of Sound.
Overwhelmed by its inevitability of oligarchy, I noticed that the auditory hallucination that my name was being called from the water had abided, and the decision to make haste for the safety of almond eyed Astoria was wise, back to the loving arms of Our Lady of the Pentacle and the unquestioning devotion of my little dog Pazuzu.
from wikipedia
Karma is the belief held by some major religions that a person’s actions cause certain effects in the current life and/or in future life, positively or negatively.
For example, if a person always does good deeds then it is believed that he or she will be “rewarded” for his or her behavior with fortunate events such as avoiding fatal accident or winning the lottery. If he or she always commits antagonistic behaviors, then it is believed that he will be punished with unfortunate events.
According to Buddhism, inequality amongst living beings is due not only to heredity, environment, “nature and nurture”, but also to Karma. In other words, it is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings. We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate.
Perplexed by the seemingly inexplicable, apparent disparity that existed among humanity, a young truth-seeker approached the Buddha and questioned him regarding this intricate problem of inequality:
“What is the cause, what is the reason, O Lord,” questioned he, “that we find amongst mankind the short-lived and long-lived, the healthy and the diseased, the ugly and beautiful, those lacking influence and the powerful, the poor and the rich, the low-born and the high-born, and the ignorant and the wise?”
The Buddha’s reply was:
“All living beings have actions (Karma) as their own, their inheritance, their congenital cause, their kinsman, their refuge. It is Karma that differentiates beings into low and high states.”
He then explained the cause of such differences in accordance with the law of cause and effect.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Slipping and stumbling, my denial and self imposed hermitage blossomed into anger and rage, surely- the note signed by Gilman was nothing of the sort. The same agencies which have directed their gaze upon me are attempting to rub my nose in their power and my inability to react.
from wikipedia
Environmental determinism, also known as climatic determinism or geographical determinism, is the view that the physical environment, rather than social conditions, determines culture. Those who believe this view say that humans are strictly defined by stimulus-response (environment-behavior) and cannot deviate.
The fundamental argument of the environmental determinists was that aspects of physical geography, particularly climate, influenced the psychological mind-set of individuals, which in turn defined the behaviour and culture of the society that those individuals formed. For example, tropical climates were said to cause laziness, relaxed attitudes and promiscuity, while the frequent variability in the weather of the middle latitudes led to more determined and driven work ethics. Because these environmental influences operate slowly on human biology, it was important to trace the migrations of groups to see what environmental conditions they had evolved under.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Attempting to bargain with this malicious universe called New York City, a foul harlot indeed, I wandered into the empty corridor in a tightly compressed state of mind. Encounters with security men, and other creatures of the street not mentioned in the posting, formed a silo of despair about me.
from wikipedia
“Forbidden fruit” is any object of desire whose appeal is a direct result of the knowledge that it cannot or should not be obtained or something that someone may want but is forbidden to have. The metaphorical phrase forbidden fruit refers to the Book of Genesis, where it is the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil eaten by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. As a result of their decision to eat the fruit, Adam and Eve lost their innocence, became separated from God and were exiled from the garden where they were forced to adopt agriculture under less than desirable circumstances for a living.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Finally, as the vapor dulled sunbeams cast those queer shadows which form the tenebrous patterns distinctive of the Newtown Creek and its tributaries during the humid and hot months, your humble narrator was forced into acceptance of the notation- written in atavist hand on a scrap of brown kraft paper which smelled of salted cod- as genuine.
from wikipedia
The Qur’an doesn’t name this tree and it is always referred to as “the tree”. Muslims believe that when God created Adam and Eve, He told them that they could enjoy everything in the Garden but this tree, and so, Satan appeared to them and told them that the only reason God forbade them to eat from that tree is that they would become Angels or become immortals.
When they ate from this tree their nakedness appeared to them and they began to sew together, for their covering, leaves from the Garden. As a result of their sin, they were removed from heaven and placed on Earth to live and die. Consequently, they repented to God and asked for his forgiveness and were forgiven. It was decided that those who obey God and follow his path shall be rewarded with everlasting life in Heaven, and those who disobey God and stray away from his path shall be punished in Hell.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
By the time I came to Dutch Kills, at the Hunter’s point avenue bridge, I had managed to subsume this fact when I noticed that the hallucination had returned. A gurgling echo, which could have easily been the sound of some unknown machine reverbing along the cement, or some far off car stereo, or some physical effect caused by playing the music on my headphones too loudly for too long.
And I noticed that the vegetation along the shoreline was stained with the colour, and it was swaying against the breeze.
from wikipedia
The Biblical description of the garden says :
Now a river flowed out of Eden to water the garden; and from there it divided and became four rivers. The name of the first is Pishon; it flows around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold.[…] The name of the second river is Gihon; it flows around the whole land of Cush. The name of the third river is Tigris; it flows east of Assyria And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
There have been a number of claims as to the actual geographic location of the Garden of Eden, though many of these have little or no connection to the text of Genesis. Most put the Garden somewhere between Najaf and Kufa in the Middle East.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
One thing I can tell you, lords and ladies of Newtown, is that the search for Gilman- rather than being retarded by this mysterious missive- will be redoubled. Whoever Gilman was, somebody in a high position does not want his story told. The note, written in old timey handwriting, is worrisome.
Gilman, who -and perhaps, what – were you?
from wikipedia
In many myths the chthonic serpent (sometimes a pair) lives in or is coiled around a Tree of Life situated in a divine garden. In the Genesis story of the Torah and Biblical Old Testament the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is situated in the Garden of Eden together with the tree of immortality. In Greek mythology Ladon coiled around the tree in the garden of the Hesperides protecting the entheogenic golden apples.
Similarly Níðhöggr (Nidhogg Nagar) the dragon of Norse mythology eats from the roots of the Yggdrasil, the World Tree.
Under yet another Tree (the Bodhi tree of Enlightenment), the Buddha sat in ecstatic meditation. When a storm arose, the mighty serpent king Mucalinda rose up from his place beneath the earth and enveloped the Buddha in seven coils for seven days, not to break his ecstatic state.
vapor dulled sunbeams
– photo by Mitch Waxman
My feet were dragging long trails in the powdered automotive glass, cutting long arcs through and across that empty corridor. Tenuous layers of atmospheric humidity, carrying those omnipresent and miasmic vapors of the mephitic Newtown Creek (as evidenced by that certain odor, not unlike that of an aquarium which houses terrapins, which defines the area) far beyond their normal geographic influence.
Dense clouds of aerosol moisture were risible, occluding the horizon, in the same manner as that note affixed to that official correspondence which was received here at Newtown Pentacle HQ similarly made my mental landscape and outlook on the future seem like a bleak and never ending limbo.
from nydailynews.com
The 54,000-square-foot, two-story building directly across from FreshDirect had been occupied by the same owner, F & R Holding Co., since 1952. It was bought by KJDS Realty Inc.
F & R Holding ran an envelope business from the site at 23-23 Borden Ave. until the 1980s, when one of the partners retired, said Peter Moreo of Greiner-Maltz, who represented the seller.
The painted “Diplomat Envelope” sign remains on the front of the 200-foot-wide building. Since the 1980s, the building had been rented out to a number of tenants, and then last year the decision was made to sell, Moreo said.
“It has potential because of its location,” he said. “It is about six blocks away from the [Long Island City] redevelopment area, and would have sold for double if it had been on other side of Vernon Blvd.”
– photo by Mitch Waxman
An elaborate farce and failure to all who’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing me, your humble narrator is nearly always in a dark place, isolated and both fleeing from and reaching for a desolating state of loneliness and distemper.
Jealous and quick to anger, slightly sociopathic, and somewhat strange- I’ve always preferred means of expression which propagate distance and physical anonymity from intended audiences. Plagued by persistent sadness, with sleep an unreliable and uneven haven, even the thrills of debauched revelry hold no power to elevate my mood. Intoxicants and entertainments can no longer help.
Hopelessness persists, a die is cast, the future unbearable.
from wikipedia
Major depression significantly affects a person’s family and personal relationships, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. Its impact on functioning and well-being has been equated to that of chronic medical conditions such as diabetes.
A person having a major depressive episode usually exhibits a very low mood, which pervades all aspects of life, and an inability to experience pleasure in activities that formerly were enjoyed. Depressed people may be preoccupied with, or ruminate over, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness, hopelessness, and self-hatred.In severe cases, depressed people may have symptoms of psychosis. These symptoms include delusions or, less commonly, hallucinations, usually of an unpleasant nature.Other symptoms of depression include poor concentration and memory (especially in those with melancholic or psychotic features),withdrawal from social situations and activities, reduced sex drive, and thoughts of death or suicide.
Insomnia is common among the depressed. In the typical pattern, a person wakes very early and is unable to get back to sleep,but insomnia can also include difficulty falling asleep.Insomnia affects at least 80% of depressed people. Hypersomnia, or oversleeping, can also happen,affecting 15% of the depressed people.Some antidepressants may also cause insomnia due to their stimulating effect.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Wringing my hands- a manifestation of a restless inability for stillness- like the exertions required to perform other small tasks, seem beyond my ability to initiate. Worthless and shamed, a resume of failures personal and public plays across the landscape of that sterile grotto between my ears- the suffering of a mendicant.
Often- when beset with the shrill headaches of guilt and those stress induced muscle spasms in my lower back, saline deprived tears will flow and cut patterns through that curious airborne particulate which collects on my sweat slaked skin.
Why did I ever open that letter and receive that malign note, the one written in pencil whose handwriting was evocative of an ancient time?
from wikipedia
Oneirophrenia is a hallucinatory, dream-like state caused by several conditions such as prolonged sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation, or drugs (such as ibogaine). From the Greek words “ὄνειρος” (oneiros, “dream”) and “φρενός” (phrenos, “mind”). It has some of the characteristics of simple schizophrenia, such as a confusional state and clouding of consciousness, but without presenting the dissociation symptoms which are typical of this disorder.
Persons affected by oneirophrenia have a feeling of dream-like unreality which, in its extreme form, may progress to delusions and hallucinations. Therefore, it is considered a schizophrenia-like acute form of psychosis which remits in about 60% of cases within a period of two years. It is estimated that 50% or more of schizophrenic patients present oneirophrenia at least once.
Oneirophrenic patients are resistant to insulin and when injected with glucose, these patients take 30 to 50% longer to return to normal glycemia. The meaning of this finding is not known, but it has been hypothesized that it may be due to an insulin antagonist present in the blood during psychosis.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
An uninteresting and pedantic dissatisfaction- at all times boring and helpless- makes any perceptions of mine questionable.
Perhaps it would be better if I just stayed at home. Avoid knowledge of those flickering wonders found around this Newtown Creek, stay in the apartment where it is safe, and where it smells pleasant.
Absolute control of a cramped corner of the hive, leased by the month, with a comfortable and amusing reality provided to me and shaped by multinational media corporations.
A happy and comfort rich world, with cheap coffee and a cable modem.
from wikipedia
Neural circuitry involving the amygdala and hippocampus is thought to underlie anxiety.[9] When confronted with unpleasant and potentially harmful stimuli such as foul odors or tastes, PET-scans show increased bloodflow in the amygdala. In these studies, the participants also reported moderate anxiety. This might indicate that anxiety is a protective mechanism designed to prevent the organism from engaging in potentially harmful behaviors.
Research upon adolescents that were as infants highly apprehensive, vigilant, and fearful finds that their nucleus accumbens is more sensitive than that in other people when they selected to make an action that determined whether they received a reward. This suggests a link between circuits responsible for fear and also reward in anxious people. As researchers note “a sense of ‘responsibility,’ or self agency, in a context of uncertainty (probabilistic outcomes) drives the neural system underlying appetitive motivation (i.e., nucleus accumbens) more strongly in temperamentally inhibited than noninhibited adolescents.”
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Truly, who needs to know of these places, save the police and security men, and those uncommented workers who populate this human hive called the City of greater New York.
Those malign forces which infest the saturn halls of influence hereabouts seem to have noticed me, simply because I noticed them, and commented upon their presence. That hated letter was the merest extent of the power they wield, a hammering cudgel of patronage, a gimlet of raw force- and a message sent and received from the powers that are.
But that doesn’t account for the note. The note which caused me to titillate at and embrace the fish belly white teat of terror itself, and wander mindlessly about this Newtown Pentacle. That note, written in a greasy pencil line and atavist hand upon a no longer common sort of brown Kraft paper, and which conveyed a malign acceptance of certain realities…
from wikipedia
An existential crisis may result from:
- The sense of being alone and isolated in the world;
- A new-found grasp or appreciation of one’s mortality;
- Believing that one’s life has no purpose or external meaning;
- Awareness of one’s freedom and the consequences of accepting or rejecting that freedom;
- An extremely pleasurable or hurtful experience that leaves one seeking meaning;
An existential crisis is often provoked by a significant event in the person’s life — marriage, separation, major loss, the death of a loved one, a life-threatening experience, a new love partner, psycho-active drug use, adult children leaving home, reaching a personally-significant age (turning 30, turning 40, etc.), etc. Usually, it provokes the sufferer’s introspection about personal mortality, thus revealing the psychological repression of said awareness.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
…the note, and I must accept this at face value, was signed “Gilman“.
from wikipedia
Nigredo, or blackness, in alchemy means putrefaction or decomposition. The alchemists believed that as a first step in the pathway to the philosopher’s stone all alchemical ingredients had to be cleansed and cooked extensively to a uniform black matter. In psychology, Carl Jung (a student of alchemy) interpreted nigredo as a moment of maximum despair, that is a prerequisite to personal development. Further steps of the alchemical opus are albedo (whiteness), citrinitas (yellowness) and rubedo (redness).
