The Newtown Pentacle

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Do not bring up the subject of sleep to your humble narrator, for even the thought of entering into that trance state- with it’s concurrently wild hallucinations- is enough to cause both physical and mental strain upon my delicate equilibrium. Just thinking about lying helpless in the dark waiting to slip into this inevitable oblivion is enough to make me breath rapidly and experience irregular cardiac rhythms while sweating profusely. The psychological effects of such inferences manifest as a confused, trembling, and amorphous fear which betrays a dread terror and malign panic.

I’m all ‘effed up.

from wikipedia

The fear of the dark is a common fear among children and to a varying degree is observed for adults. Fear of the dark is usually not fear of the darkness itself, but fear of possible or imagined dangers concealed by the darkness. Some degree of fear of the dark is natural, especially as a phase of child development. Most observers report that fear of the dark seldom appears before the age of 2 years. When fear of the dark reaches a degree that is severe enough to be considered pathological, it is sometimes called nyctophobia (from Greek νυξ, “night” and φοβια, phobia), scotophobia, from σκότος – “darkness”, or lygophobia, from λυγή – “twilight” and achluophobia.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Severe, my psychic pathologies demand isolation from others, easy to achieve by being awake while everyone else is asleep. Terrifying possibilities of what might lurk out there in the darkness torment my imagination, and I can only feel safe when blanketed in electronic light. There are stories of untoward and unexpected occurrences observed during the Great Astoria Blackout of 2006 whose meanings are only now beginning to coalesce into some sort of sensible shape, things that can exist only in the safe fuligin which no sensibly illumined skeptical New Yorker might expect. Thresholds throughout the ancient village knew lurkers, and odd shinings were described emanating from certain ruined or lightning cursed churches which dot the rolling hillocks of Astoria.

From beneath the streets an azure glow and acrid scent escaped, and rough havoc was unleashed, I’m sure.

from wikipedia

Panphobia, from the Greek ‘pan’ and ‘phobos,’ also called Omniphobia, Pantophobia, or Panophobia, is a medical condition known as a “non-specific fear” or “the fear of everything” and is described as “a vague and persistent dread of some unknown evil”, or only seeing the extremes to everything.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

To help pass the lonely hours of nocturnal hand wringing, tooth gnashing, and guilty self recrimination I have taken to long exposure photography which allows me to feel as if something had been accomplished before weakness and fatigue forced me into surrendering to that familiar cycle of deteriorating into unconsciousness, hallucination, and dazed awakening. Stumbling out into the streets the next and every day- into and beneath the direct gaze of the burning thermonuclear eye of god itself- emanations sting at my skin and if exposed to them for not so long a time, radiation burns will begin to manifest.

from wikipedia

Erythropoietic protoporphyria (EPP) is a relatively mild form of porphyria, although very painful, which arises from a deficiency in the enzyme ferrochelatase, leading to abnormally high levels of protoporphyrin in the tissue. The severity varies significantly from individual to individual…

EPP can be triggered through exposure to sun even though the patient is behind glass. Even the UV emissions from arc welding with the use of full protective mask have been known to trigger EPP.
Prolonged exposure to the sun can lead to edema and blistering. At times the immediate damage can be so severe that the individual can lose the skin in sheets.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Doctor friends have advised me that my aversion to this hideous biological malady is unavoidable, and described timetables which offer precise time periods during which the kidneys and liver may cleanse the blood of toxins, and the function of cellular growth and repair is based around sleep as well I am told. As well, psychiatric and psychological sources describe the chronic loss or avoidance of sleep as some sort of disorder.

Well, what do lettered academics know anyway? Have they rode with the tomb legions over the frozen steppes of nephren ka, or flown with the night gaunts through low hanging branches over the Lethe, or walked a mile in my moccasins?

from wikipedia

Sleep deprivation is the condition of not having enough sleep; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic sleep-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime sleepiness, clumsiness and weight loss or weight gain. It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function. Few studies have compared the effects of acute total sleep deprivation and chronic partial sleep restriction. Complete absence of sleep over long periods is impossible for humans to achieve (unless they suffer from fatal familial insomnia); brief microsleeps cannot be avoided. Long-term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals.