thought them
…a good night…
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Just imagine trying to find a spot to park a sleigh with a full team of magick reindeers in Western Queens… you’d take the train too if you were Santa. Giving presents out to nice kids in celebration of his boy’s birthday is what God forces Satan to do, after anagrammatically mixing up the devil’s name, on Christmas Eve. If you can’t enjoy the little things as a supreme being, what’s the point? That’s why the antichrist is forced to play Santa Claus every year.
It’s not an accident that Santa Claus can walk through millions of fireplaces without getting burned, knows everything about naughty and nice (which will come in handy when the kid eventually dies and gets judged), and can accurately discern that which we desire most for gifts. The only indication of who Santa actually is gets revealed when you discover that some Christmas present requires a certain kind of battery which you don’t possess and have to special order from a shady dealer on EBay.
That’s how he gets ya, that wiley Satan. Ho, Ho, bwahhh ha ha, Ho.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
One has always suspected, and sought knowledge in pursuance thereof, that Christmas lights are part of some evil conspiracy. Unlike aglets (the plastic or metal tips on the ends of shoelaces), proof of their sinister nature has never emerged. Electric Christmas lights were invented by a guy who worked for Con Ed, as a note, but those strings of blinking bulbs aren’t exactly a washer/drier or air conditioner in terms of energy usage. Maybe they are blinking out some sort of subliminal code?
Satan is probably involved in the holiday lights business somehow. He usually gets his claws into whatever pie is available for flicking, so…
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Having grown up Jewish, I would often react in credulity when my Mom would begin to decorate for the December holidays. She’d buy blue and white lights, tape together two xmas star ornaments to make a six pointed Star of David out of two fivers, and set up a blue and white plastic Christmas Tree. She called it a “Channukah Bush.” I call the thing in the shot above an inflatable antichrist, just to illustrate that you can call a thing whatever you want to but it doesn’t mean other people will adopt your terminologies. Channukah Bush, sheesh.
Being the asshole kid I was, which foreshadowed the professional asshole I became, I’d make it a point of reminding Mumsies that amongst the very few plantings mentioned in the Torah, there was prominently a burning bush. Suggestions that we drag it outside and douse the thing in lighter fluid were seldom greeted affectionately. My Uncle Marty said it might be borderline heresy to do so, and Marty knew a good heresy when he encountered it.
Merry Christmas, lords and ladies, and to all…
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The Newtown Pentacle 
Is it possible the Santa Claus is Christ as an old man?
Cav
December 25, 2019 at 5:00 pm
If so, then careful Mitch as strong in the force is Santa Christ and zap you with force lightning he will.
Cav
December 25, 2019 at 5:02 pm
Apropos of nothing I gotta say that the particular specific combination of blue AND white lights always seem quite “cold” to me, and don’t look festive or cheery at all. Just my two bits tho’.
Tommy Efreeti
December 30, 2019 at 2:39 pm