The Newtown Pentacle

Friday

– photo by Mitch Waxman

First off, there’s no way you’re going to get me to believe that the sub specie of Vampires hasn’t figured out a workaround for their sunlight problem here in the 21st century. Sunscreen? Hats? Something?

I figure that their ‘not crossing flowing water’ prohibition is a little harder for the armies of the night to conquer. Just in case a diurnal vampire has locked onto me, I’ll often take a quick hike across any available bridge as a vouchsafe. In this case, it was the Fort Duquesne bridge over the Allegheny River, here in Pittsburgh.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Fort Duquesne leads into Point State Park, and offers sweet views of its sister bridge – the Fort Pitt. The path off the bridge is wooded on both sides, so… excellent perching spots for day vampires to grab a snack off the path and chow down in the sylvan shadows. I stayed directly in the middle of the road, which I’ve actually never understood as being the metaphor for ‘safe.’

Worst place to be, middle of the road… that’s where the double yellow line is. Even worse are the other sides of the travel lane, at the extreme edges of the pavement, along the white lines.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The guy dressed up like a British soldier was likely a historical reenactment actor, but he could have been a ‘day vampire’ that has been dressing like that for hundreds of years. Anything is possible these days, as objective truth has become plastic, moldable, and pliant.

Hope that guy in the blue modern clothes made it home to his family.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

I continued on, scuttle scuttle scuttle.

If I was a vampire, I think that I’d run for political office.

Mesmerize the crowd, tell them ‘those people over there whom you don’t like are taking something away from you, and giving it to somebody else far away that you like even less.’ I’d pontificate that garlic didn’t exist before 1957, that it’s an invasive specie sent to America by International Communists in order to traffick children in exchange for Fentanyl. Holy water would need to be banned by my edict, and then scheduled as a Class One controlled substance with the DEA.

I’d advocate for smog, and promise that the overcast conditions offer ‘freedom from sun burns and skin cancer’ for the span of my reign term.

My supporters would be called ‘freedom children, of the night,’ and they’d be required to wear red clothing so as to hide the leftovers from luncheon feedings, and I’d exclusively staff my inner office with loyal cohorts sent to me from amongst the Romani’s Rudar clan in Romania (or just reach out to Sunnyside in Queens, where the former ‘Maspeth Romani’ live).

Boxes of native soils from Brooklyn’s Canarsie would be stored around my district, and in Washington. You gotta sleep sometimes.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

For crossing the Monongahela River, I avoided the obvious path of walking the Fort Pitt Bridge. Kind of out of the way for where I wanted to get to, and I was interested mainly in shaking off any potential day vampires who might be following me. ‘Day Vampire’ isn’t a metaphor for something ugly, by the way, I literally mean ‘day vampire.’

A counter narrative to my vampiric musings was playing through my headphones, incidentally, with Dragnet’s Joe Friday interrogating a bombing suspect, whose house hosted a bunch of Nazi stuff – flags, uniforms, etc. This script was also turned into a teleplay during the ‘Dragnet 67’ television version of the show, if it sounds familiar.

Friday gave one of his speeches about American values – free speech, freedom of conscience, the role which science and vaccines had played in freeing the WW2 generation and their descendants from avoidable disease and disfigurement. Friday put this speech forward as a rebuke to the suspect, who just wanted to tear the entire edifice down.

Joe Friday versus Vampires… now, that would have been something.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The Smithfield Street Bridge carried me across the Monongahela River, which made two flowing water barriers crossed. It did occur to me that Vampires probably use cell phones these days, and distinct populations of them might be communicating with each other remotely.

‘Hey, check out the old guy with the camera, he looks juicy. Lol’

Back next week with something different – at this – your Newtown Pentacle.

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