Posts Tagged ‘weirdness’
weirdly afar
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Long have I harbored secret ambitions to some sort of throne, but ironic hubris would strike from its lurking perch. Rough hewn, this specimen was observed recently on Northern Blvd. in Queens, at the thoroughfare’s junction with 34th Avenue.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
This is a difficult retail location, of course, which requires some showmanship and the grandiosity of this chair (obviously a showpiece) made me think about the sort of home decor into which it might blend.
One might expect to find a cheetah on a leash wandering about.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
I jest of course, as my personal space looks like a server room, and hums audibly. Personally, I’d love to have one of those Frankenstein lightning things going in the corner, but my little dog objects to the sound of electrical discharges.
Which is how I’d describe this chair- upholstered electricity…
bafflingly homogeneous
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Quivering in some hellish and noisome pool of spreading horror, the sprawling obstructions of Long Island City lay between myself and the East River- after having had several surprising experiences at First Calvary Cemetery. Greenpoint Avenue at Borden is where the titan architecture of the Queens Midtown Expressway returns to grade from the arching heights it attains over the mutagenic sediments of an ancient canal called the Dutch Kills, eventually terminating at the East River’s junction with Newtown Creek at Hunters Point.
Seeking- instinctually- running water, your humble narrator found himself in a fine state of panic.
from psychcentral.com
…Their excessive suspiciousness and hostility may be expressed in overt argumentativeness, in recurrent complaining, or by quiet, apparently hostile aloofness. Because they are hypervigilant for potential threats, they may act in a guarded, secretive, or devious manner and appear to be “cold” and lacking in tender feelings. Although they may appear to be objective, rational, and unemotional, they more often display a labile range of affect, with hostile, stubborn, and sarcastic expressions predominating. Their combative and suspicious nature may elicit a hostile response in others, which then serves to confirm their original expectations.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Bogeyman, bump in the night, or the sure knowledge of an invisibly malign presence- it doesn’t take much to set a crazed ape like myself into howling melancholies of dread. Mundane and wholesome experiences terrify and insulate my fragile persona, and merely interacting with fellow members of the citizenry often results in days of fevered weakness and endless self recrimination. The gentlest of surprises- a small child laughing suddenly, or the appearance of a feral cat or dog- any environmental deviation which could be ascribed to be “sudden”- is enough to rob me of any aspiration of societal posture. Retreat to the hideous slime coated abysses of the megalopolis are called for, where one might hide and blend in amongst all hideousness.
I’m all ‘effed up.
from wikipedia
A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following symptoms:
- Heavy self-criticism, tending to create a habitual state of dissatisfaction with oneself.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism, which makes oneself feel easily attacked and experience obstinate resentment against critics.
- Chronic indecision, not so much because of lack of information, but from an exaggerated fear of making a mistake.
- Excessive will to please: being unwilling to say “no”, out of fear of displeasing the petitioner.
- Perfectionism, or self-demand to do everything attempted “perfectly” without a single mistake, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.
- Neurotic guilt: one is condemned for behaviors which not always are objectively bad, exaggerates the magnitude of mistakes or offenses and complains about them indefinitely, never reaching full forgiveness.
- Floating hostility, irritability out in the open, always on the verge of exploding even for unimportant things; an attitude characteristic of somebody who feels bad about everything, who is disappointed or unsatisfied with everything
- Defensive tendencies, a general negative (one is pessimistic about everything: life, future, and, above all, oneself) and a general lack of will to enjoy life.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
It is simpler to believe ones mind has cracked wide open, than it is to believe the truth of those dark undercurrents which seethe just below the surface which have been observed in the Newtown Pentacle. Madness is preferable- I suppose- to those Malthusian truths which govern over this place. It is easier to embrace some swirling chaotic, marry oneself to a “very bad idea” than to accept that some sort of shadow had followed me on my long walk through a cemetery. I mean… that’s just… not… scientific…
Perhaps it’s just paranoia…
from wikipedia
Malthus thought that the dangers of population growth would preclude endless progress towards a utopian society: “The power of population is indefinitely greater than the power in the earth to produce subsistence for man”. As an Anglican clergyman, Malthus saw this situation as divinely imposed to teach virtuous behaviour. Believing that one could not change human nature, Malthus wrote:
- “Must it not then be acknowledged by an attentive examiner of the histories of mankind, that in every age and in every State in which man has existed, or does now exist
- That the increase of population is necessarily limited by the means of subsistence,
- That population does invariably increase when the means of subsistence increase, and,
- That the superior power of population is repressed, and the actual population kept equal to the means of subsistence, by misery and vice.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The air is clear, and not a poisonous fume. Broadcast antennas connected to powerful transmitters do not form wavefront cascades of airborne radiation which are known to create the vast static and electrical charges experienced on sky flung metal structures like these advertising signs or the Kosciuszko Bridge. The water in Newtown Creek is free of pharmaceutical residues, and there has not been some sort of cult operating at St. Michael’s Cemetery in Astoria.
I did not see a man climb over the side of the Borden Avenue Bridge and disappear under the roadway as I drew close to the ancient structure.
from wikipedia
The terror of absolute annihilation creates such a profound—albeit subconscious—anxiety in people that they spend their lives attempting to make sense of it. On large scales, societies build symbols: laws, religions, cultures, and belief systems to explain the significance of life, define what makes certain characteristics, skills, and talents extraordinary, reward others whom they find exemplify certain attributes, and punish or kill others who do not adhere to their cultural worldview. On an individual level, how well someone adheres to a cultural worldview is the same concept as self-esteem; people measure their own worth based on how well they live up to their culture’s expectations.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
There is no Black Crow living alongside this bridge, in a windblown shanty. It’s my imagination- wild fantasies and exaggerations concocted by a diseased and fever struck mind… the very progeny of failed ambitions and underwhelming talents.
There was only one shadow cast by your humble narrator since having stumbled out of First Calvary…
from about.com
Flight of Ideas: a nearly continuous flow of rapid speech that jumps from topic to topic, usually based on discernible associations, distractions, or plays on words, but in severe cases so rapid as to be disorganized and incoherent. It is most commonly seen in manic episodes but may also occur in other mental disorders such as in manic phases of schizophrenia.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
After all… the Black Crow? Who makes this kind of stuff up? A man living on Dutch Kills, at Borden Avenue Bridge of all places, in this day and age…
from wikipedia
Oneirophrenia is a hallucinatory, dream-like state caused by several conditions such as prolonged sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation, or drugs (such as ibogaine). From the Greek words “ὄνειρο” (oneiro, “dream”) and “φρενός” (phrenos, “mind”). It has some of the characteristics of simple schizophrenia, such as a confusional state and clouding of consciousness, but without presenting the dissociative symptoms which are typical of this disorder.
Persons affected by oneirophrenia have a feeling of dream-like unreality which, in its extreme form, may progress to delusions and hallucinations. Therefore, it is considered a schizophrenia-like acute form of psychosis which remits in about 60% of cases within a period of two years. It is estimated that 50% or more of schizophrenic patients present oneirophrenia at least once.
stupendous ruin
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Before I left Calvary- that day when I finally located the grave of it’s first interment (Esther Ennis, 1848), stepped in a dead rabbit, and picked up a paranormal companion on my long walk- two things came to my notice. The first, which discussed and observed several of the so called “disturbing subsidences” prevalent at Calvary Cemetery after a severe winter, is found in the posting “of straw and willow“. This is the second, and this time the rabbit isn’t dead- just spooky.
Acquaintance and intimate strangers alike (for one such as I can never boast vaingloriously of possessing friends due to an inadequate equilibrium of emotion and inability to interact with others in an intimate or affable manner) have asked me about those assertions put forth in prior postings regarding this whole ghost thing.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
First Calvary, and to a larger extent- all of the Polyandrions of Western Queens, present an overwhelming experience to visitors. The megalopolis hums about peripheral boundaries, yet an unnatural quiet rings out shortly after entering the gates. Statuary in lifelike proportions towers above, and sure knowledge of that which might be below forces ones perception into an odd parallel.
The wealth of detail and brutally long sight lines cause one to scan the visual field intently, reading every name on every stone and noticing even the smallest things. The effect is not unlike that described by the hasish eaters of the far east, an hallucinogenic and dreamlike artifice of the mind.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
A certain numbness manifests in the feet first, which act as leaden anchors rather than motive ground interfaces. Gait alters, from a strolling trot to a clumsy shuffle with the feet angled into 10 and 2 positions, and a slight sense of vertigo skirts about the edges of possibility. So too, do mundane and wholesome items take on an air of sinister intent and latent potential. The same ethereal effect is often felt in the world’s great museums, as the brain is attempting to make sense of the multitudes of provocative images it is suddenly gorging on (my navy nuclear engineer buddy calls this being “uberplexed”).
Psychics, mystics, seers and the like would describe the effects which Calvary reliably supplies as being some sort of psychic charge which suffuses this garden of loss. Descriptions and analogies of the spirit legions whose mortal remains rest here would also be offered by the magickally inclined.
Doesn’t explain why there are rabbits here, live ones, with glowing red eyes.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
To the point of this missive however, which concerns my spectral companion, the following is offered:
While entering the cemetery with the expressed purpose of locating the grave of its first interment, a shadow was noticed flitting about that was consistent from place to place. This shape seemed to be everywhere I was, and my path that day saw my own cast shadow falling behind me. Once or twice, while crossing the roads which service the various sections, it was observed on the asphalt where NOTHING was there to cast a shadow.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
It has been a very long time since one of my spells has seized upon me. The vast weaknesses of character and underwhelming physique which your humble narrator has earned through years of sloth, gluttony, and too little sleep once again betrayed me at a critical moment. Light headed, the pharmaceutical tablets which my doctors have ordered me to have at the ready for when, not if, such a moment comes were already in my mouth when the rabbit in the shot above looked alertly at just to the left of my position. Spinning around, I realized that I was casting two shadows instead of the usual one.
I’m all ‘effed up.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
My presence of mind returned partially only after having crossed Greenpoint Avenue and scuttling down the hill towards Borden Avenue. Since there were no cats about to guide me, my synaptic memory demanded that a generally widdershins directional orientation be followed. Perhaps, by moving out of this place, this haunter of the shadows could be dislodged.
Perhaps, solace might be found closer to Tower Town…
vapour soaked
– photo from “The Newtown Creek industrial district of New York City By Merchants’ Association of New York. Industrial Bureau, 1921”, courtesy Google Books
My weird obsession with recreating very old photographs once again turns toward Dutch Kills, this time it’s looking to the end of the Degnon Terminal barge turning basin toward LaGuardia Community College’s building C- which was the former Sunshine Biscuits or Loose Wiles Bakery.
The shot above was captured in 1921 or thereabouts, and the ones below from 2011.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
An interesting parallell to this shot is the one presented at the end of the “Hunters Point Avenue Bridge Centennial, Dec. 11” posting from December 3rd in 2009, which presents the inverse viewpoint of today’s.
That shot was obtained from a 7th floor window of the building, on the wall with the red detailing, 3rd window from the left some four score and ten years or approximately 24,855 days later than the original and focused on the spot where these were shot.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
This is the uncropped version, showing Dutch Kills just around sunset, on February 17th, 2011 from the deck of the Hunters Point Avenue Bridge.
reticence shown
– photo by Mitch Waxman
I fear that I’ve become quite focused on Calvary Cemetery again. Recent caches of primary sources have been discovered which have all but confirmed certain hypothetical precepts, and illumined certain unimagined parameters to my studies. As yellowed maps and time blasted books have passed before my startled eyes, dawning realizations about the structure which underlies the place torment my curiosity.
Allow me to explain…
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Newtown Creek guy, that’s me- part of the history crowd from Queens- harmless.
The history part is what I’m interested in, and everything I’ve read or witnessed around the Newtown Creek indicates that while First Calvary Cemetery was incorporated in 1848- when the first recorded interment took place (more on that in a later post)– an interval of roughly 5-10 years preceded the beginning of an era which saw as many as 20 funerals conducted during a single day. Immigration patterns can explain this, of course, but the primary sources which have been consulted describe something else.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
It’s the sewers.
Two interesting leads have presented themselves, the first having led to:
The Rosary Magazine, in a report from 1908, via Google Books, offers this snippet:
On November 11, Archbishop Farley of New York dedicated a new mortuary chapel which was recently erected under the title of St. Callistus in Calvary Cemetery, Long Island. The Mass on the occasion was sung by Mgr. Lavelle and the sermon preached by Mgr. Mooney. The new structure will serve the double purpose of chapel and mausoleum. Below the chapel floor there is a crypt containing one hundred and fourteen vaults, in which hereafter will be buried the priests of the New York Archdiocese. The idea of such a building was first conceived by Archbishop Farley some four years ago. The structure is quite an imposing one, built of granite and Saracenic in its style of architecture. It is ninety-six feet long and sixty-four feet wide. The auditorium will accommodate two hundred and fifty persons. Surmounting the dome is a fine figure of the risen Christ, designed by Miss Melro Beatrice Wilson. When finished the total cost of the building will approximate $200,000. The building was designed by Raymond F. Almirall.
Here’s the cutaway architect drawing, courtesy again- Google Books:
Long time readers will remember that the Chapel has been previously profiled at this- your Newtown Pentacle- in the post “scenes familiar, and loved“.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
The catacombs beneath the Calvary Cemetery Chapel are fairly old news to long time readers, but… back to those sewers.
The second interesting nugget that I’ve turned up recently is (other than fascinating references to an excommunicated and controversial 19th century Catholic priest named McGlynn) that there seems to have been a legal issue settled by the State of New York which involved the removal of tens of thousands of tons of Calvary topsoil, and it’s eventual disposition on Catholic owned farms in Jamaica which aroused and infuriated the largely Protestant agricultural community of Newtown. This topsoil was removed “during the building of Calvary Cemetery, with its modern sewerage system”.
The building…
– photo by Mitch Waxman
I haven’t screwed the lid down on this one yet, so I’m not sharing links on this, but- the various sources I’m working on have opened up the reality that the hill of Laurels is in fact engineered ground. Discussions of enormous underground culverts and diversion channels for water, titan work forces, and a decade long struggle to turn the marshy waste land around the Newtown Creek into the well drained and immaculately landscaped structure we know today have consumed me- and driven Our Lady of the Pentacle to near madness.
Who can guess, all there is, that might be buried down there?
The Newtown Pentacle 