The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

Archive for December 16th, 2012

mountain freedom

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– photo by Mitch Waxman

Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 5 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.

Luckily, since the world’s end is upon us, America is possessed of an enormous military capability. Even our littoral fleet is larger than most national navies, armed heavily, and staffed by expert marksmen. It is comforting to know that if the Mayan Apocalypse proceeds on schedule- we go down fighting.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Here at Newtown Pentacle HQ, preparations are under way. Our Lady of the Pentacle is sharpening knives, the dog has grown used to the bladed Kevlar body armor, and your humble narrator has crafted a quite fashionable series of tin foil hats. Of course, a recent announcement made the case that such chapeaus actually increase the efficacy of broadcast spectrum mind control radiation rather than providing prophylactic effect. Regardless, they are quite comfortable.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Down in the vast sub astorian bunkers excavated by Our Lady (during the really hot months of the summer), she used teaspoons for this endeavor by the way, we have a pretty nice set of digs. It was simple to dispose of the tailings from her mining using the “Great Escape” method. We opted out of the “Zion esthetic” from the Matrix movies and went for a “Hobbiton” Lord of the Rings sort of thing. Lots of faux wood and sconce lighting, with stacks and stacks of canned beans and dog food. The bunker is quite sound, and on the hatch is a sign that says “Gas, grass, or ass- no one survives for free”.

Obviously, this penultimate Maritime Sunday post is dedicated to Americas fighting men and women, and all our ships at sea.

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