The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

Archive for December 21st, 2012

ex oblivione

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“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Somehow, I’ve always known that I was destined to write the eulogy for the human race. Like yesterday’s posting, this one was written a couple of days in advance of the Mayan Apocalypse as Our Lady of the Pentacle and myself have sealed ourselves away in a sub astorian survival bunker with our little dog. Can’t imagine who might be reading this, or how, but epitaphs are required, I suppose.

Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 0 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse. Today is December 21st, here comes the end of all there ever was and will be. Sayonara.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The devastation must be unendurable up there, with glowing clouds of radioactive dust illuminating the sooty black fumes billowing from an incinerated city. Has the cannibal instinct kicked in yet for the survivors, or do they yet cling to some myth of civilization?

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The terrifying part, for the scientifically minded, must be the presence of the beasts of revelation. Those impossibly huge brass shelled locusts, the abominations of the sea, the fleets of alien warships plying the skies. Nibiru must be occluding the burning thermonuclear eye of god itself, rendering a permanent twilight with sooty gray clouds underlit by the crimson and orange of vain glory and hubris.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Down in the bunker, Our Lady and I plan on making hot cocoa today. Ruminations about our former lives are undoubtedly going to be a topic of conversation. The still suits we ordered from Amazon will provide us with an endless cycle of reclaimed urine, and the tons of MRE’s we have stockpiled should keep we apes and the canine happily fed.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The purpose of this posting, which Im sure will never be read by purely human eyes, is to eulogize the planet and all life upon it in general- not to gloat over my own safety and preparedness. In my former life on the surface, I once had the pleasure of meeting Douglas Adams- author of the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, who was a fine and clever chap. The ending of human civilization merits a quotation from the great satirist, I believe, so here goes: “So long, and thanks for all the fish”.

I will keep posting as long as the power holds out, good luck to all of you on the surface, and I- for one- welcome our new alien overlords.

Welcome to the 14th b’ak’tun.

Written by Mitch Waxman

December 21, 2012 at 12:15 am

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