Archive for December 2012
mountain freedom
“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 5 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.
Luckily, since the world’s end is upon us, America is possessed of an enormous military capability. Even our littoral fleet is larger than most national navies, armed heavily, and staffed by expert marksmen. It is comforting to know that if the Mayan Apocalypse proceeds on schedule- we go down fighting.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Here at Newtown Pentacle HQ, preparations are under way. Our Lady of the Pentacle is sharpening knives, the dog has grown used to the bladed Kevlar body armor, and your humble narrator has crafted a quite fashionable series of tin foil hats. Of course, a recent announcement made the case that such chapeaus actually increase the efficacy of broadcast spectrum mind control radiation rather than providing prophylactic effect. Regardless, they are quite comfortable.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Down in the vast sub astorian bunkers excavated by Our Lady (during the really hot months of the summer), she used teaspoons for this endeavor by the way, we have a pretty nice set of digs. It was simple to dispose of the tailings from her mining using the “Great Escape” method. We opted out of the “Zion esthetic” from the Matrix movies and went for a “Hobbiton” Lord of the Rings sort of thing. Lots of faux wood and sconce lighting, with stacks and stacks of canned beans and dog food. The bunker is quite sound, and on the hatch is a sign that says “Gas, grass, or ass- no one survives for free”.
Obviously, this penultimate Maritime Sunday post is dedicated to Americas fighting men and women, and all our ships at sea.
clammy mass
“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 6 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.
Recent announcements by the reknowned archaeological scientists of North Korea discussed their discovery of the lair of a legendary unicorn high in the mountains. They needn’t have looked in such out of the way places, and instead visited Steinway Street here in Astoria. Unicorns abound.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
“Bing was not here” adjoins the wry graffiti, a response to an advertising campaign promoting a search engine. Such frivolity matters little to me, as preparation for the Mayan Doomsday is all consuming. The bunker, hidden deep below Astoria, has been activated. Your humble narrator is busy filling the vast pools of water and herding livestock into my subterranean grotto. Also, the still suits (modeled after the freemen models from dune) should be arriving from Amazon on Monday. The sleeper has awoken.
swaying shutter
“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 7 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.
Additionally, for the sake of “georgetheatheist”, it is now just 17 days to the Honeymooners Marathon.
It is said by adherents to the Christian faith, when discussing their own conception of the end times, that men will witness abominations in the days leading up to the apocalypse. Specific eschatology discusses weirding mixtures of men and beasts, who shall roam amongst us. Muslims too believe that when the last days come, the iron walls of Dhul-Qarnayn will shatter and allow an army of bestial chaos egress to the world of men.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Just the other day in Manhattan, center of the great human hive, this unholy thing was witnessed moving amongst the crowds. It is realized that we live in a multi cultural society which champions diversity, however, your humble narrator refuses to acknowledge the rights of some escapee from the island of Dr. Moreau. Have the lessons of Orwell’s “Animal Farm” not been absorbed and embraced? Bipedal locomotion is exclusively ours (and the Kangaroos as well, don’t forget them).
– photo by Mitch Waxman
It is a sad state of affairs, that Baphomet the sabbath goat might walk unhindered about the megalopolis, unchallenged and haughty. In the days of Harry Truman or Rudy Giuliani such a thing would never have been allowed. Your humble narrator is preparing the bunker for active duty.
tarnished plate
“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Queens Plaza is that which greets visitors to our fair borough, the home to a great machine called Queensboro. This machine, utilitarian, is the backbone which carries vehicular and light rail traffic from the western tip of a long island to the eastern shore of the great human hive’s focal point in Manhattan. Grotesque, the area has been the focus of quite a bit of municipal thought and spending over the last few years.
Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 8 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
An amenity, called Dutch Kills Green, has been installed as a city park. Controversy over its design and the opinions of area wags notwithstanding, your humble narrator has observed that the place is being well used. A nearby school offers daily crowds of scalawag teenagers, and the place seems popular with both indigent and office worker alike. Several interesting madmen cross the place regularly, including myself.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Annoying, artless graffito has appeared of late in the place. This post is offered in the hope that those of you, lords and ladies, who find themselves in the employ of those powers and potentates who enjoy official stewardship over the community might like to know the phone number of one of these “street artists”. It is realized that so much of the graffiti which turns up is anonymous, and that some minor satisfaction might arrive from being able to ring the person up.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Phone conversation is something generationally aberrant to those under a certain age, with SMS text or twitter replacing verbal communication, so you might wish to tweet the artist instead. Alternatively, Facebook might be your bag.
ancient idol
“follow” me on Twitter at @newtownpentacle
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Skillman Avenue in Queens is one of the thoroughfares via which pedestrian transits are accomplished between the blessed hillocks of Astoria and the lamentable post industrial flats surrounding the Newtown Creek. It is all downhill from here, your humble narrator often tells people, but at least there is some spectacular scenery along the route. To wit, the Sunnyside Yards.
Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 9 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
Illegal dumping is an art form here in Queens, with scatter dash arrangements of discarded goods lining both fence and wall. An odd thing I’ve noticed over the last few years is the presence of discarded single shoes. I’d be able to look over a pair of shoes, but everywhere I go these days, I’m seeing single shoes. That is weird, and there’s a story behind it, I am sure. It will likely involve a serial killer, I think.
– photo by Mitch Waxman
This beautiful bit of detritus, arranged upon the old iron fence of the rail yard, has obviously been in place for a long time. Many questions occur to me, regarding it, but like many of the things which Queens wishes to have noticed- there will never be an answer. Queens is like that.
The Newtown Pentacle 