The Newtown Pentacle

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reptilian devils

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I want to believe…

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The world would be so much more interesting if all the nutty and paranoid stuff was true. How I do wish that the Queen of England was actually a human alien hybrid, that Kennedy was killed by the CIA and a cabal of militarists, that Area 51 was anything except for a place where exotic fighter jets and stealth aircraft are tested. “Chem trails,” “banksters,” and the rest of the fantasy scenarios are all built around an elaborate mythology that paints the government of the United States as some great machine which operates with impunity and precision.

Have you actually interacted with the government? Try it out, and that should sunder all notions of the “hidden hand.” These people can barely tie their shoes, cannot keep a secret, and are more concerned with getting approval for overtime than they would be in conspiring with alien overlords (unless they were hiring). If anything, officialdom would start applying for grant monies to form committees to study the alien overlords.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

For the last week or so, I’ve been telling people I meet that “Holy Crap, just the other night, Obama himself kicked in my door looking for guns to take.” The general reaction has been either “well, at least he did something” or “it took him long enough.” I don’t have any guns – I’m more of a blunt force trauma guy – but the point I’m trying to make is that the whole notion of this sort of conspiracy is sophomoric.

Try arranging a lunch date for five people to meet up at the same time and place, purposely excluding someone inside your social circle. The excluded person WILL find out about it, and loudly proclaim their resentment. Magnify that out to any topic associated with conspiratorial secrecy and do the math.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

I’ve always believed that the reason people cling to conspiratorial fantasy is the utter banality of real life. Perhaps it’s the nihilist philosophy that I cling to, which renders everything I experience as shades of cold gray. If you were a member of some cabal, there would have to be some sort of bank account associated with it to cover costs and handle payroll. There would be paperwork which someone would have to administer, and an excel spreadsheet generated to track the project.

Even Mafiosos and ISIS keep paper records. Nixon did, and that’s what did him in. Ollie North did. Bill de Blasio does. There’s no such thing as a secret if somebody other than you knows about it.

Upcoming Events and Tours

Saturday, June 25, 10:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. –
The Insalubrious Valley of the Newtown Creek,
with Brooklyn Brainery. Click here for more details.

Sunday, June 26, 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. –
Calvary Cemetery Walking Tour,
with Atlas Obscura. Click here for more details.

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Written by Mitch Waxman

June 23, 2016 at 12:00 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Wait…what? You mean the Queen ISN’T a human/alien hybrid? Are you sure?

    Fiesta Cranberry

    June 23, 2016 at 2:52 pm

  2. “For the last week or so, I’ve been telling people I meet that “Holy Crap, just the other night, Obama himself kicked in my door looking for guns to take.” The general reaction has been either “well, at least he did something” or “it took him long enough.” I don’t have any guns – I’m more of a blunt force trauma guy – but the point I’m trying to make is that the whole notion of this sort of conspiracy is sophomoric.”

    Meh, that’s worthy of posting in the comments section of Queens Crap!

    I am sure, humble narrator, that at least one interlocutor simply stared off into the distance rather than genially remind you of the difference between conspiracy and policy, dialectic and rhetoric.
    Could that one have found the thesis painted by too broad a brush, to be flawed by not being fully thought through and concept delivered with a poor rhetorical device. Maybe hoped by silence our Humble Narrator may reconsider the statement and its implications. Take the hint as it were.

    Or perhaps inwardly smiling at the thought: “Humans are such easy prey…” but none the less staying politely silent as the most deadly of intellectual adversaries can be.

    Hence.
    A conspiracy is a secret plot hatched by backroom schemers and implemented by subterfuge or revolutionary actions. Historically, successful conspiracies are extremely rare and most are uncovered in the planning stage. Overall, a poor tactic for achieving a goal and mere fodder for the intellectually lazy.

    A publicly stated and openly debated goal, of say reversing the second amendment and desiring to disarm the American people is an example of an agenda or policy. In this and many other agendas, it has been pursued through incrementalism by asking for a series of small concession and compromises over a long period of time.
    Incrementalism has been a very successful and preferred method of achieving larger goals.

    An exaggeration of a present policy or agenda or predicting and extreme method of implementation is not engaging in conspiracy thinking but a rhetorical device.

    Please understand the dialectic and rhetorical differences and work on a more effective rhetorical delivery of your position. Precision of thought with attention to epistemology and taking a firm openly stated position, sir, is important otherwise it’s the Queens Crap Peanut Gallery posting.

    Furthermore in regards to our apparatchiks:
    I would note the fate of Leon Trotsky who dismissed what he considered to be the less intellectually gifted Joseph Stalin as “a grey blur”. Know thy enemy and know thyself….

    Don Cavaioli

    Cav

    June 23, 2016 at 5:39 pm


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