The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

Archive for April 13th, 2017

creeping secularism

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It’s National Peach Cobbler Day, in these United States.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

One of those “cool cars” of Queens which was recently spotted, this time on Steinway Street here in raven tressed Astoria. This one was so over the top for usage on the streets of NYC… the mind boggles… but to each his own I always say. If you can afford it, why not? Personally, I’d like to see a bigger set of tires on this pickup, possibly spiked ones, and some sort of roof mounted chain gun – then you’d be ready for the inevitable horde of zombies which we all collectively know are just around the historical corner.

Don’t think that the artillery would help you too much with the vampires in Queens Plaza, but there you go.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Should a horde of zombies appear in Queens, a humble narrators plan is to shelter with Our Lady of the Pentacle and our little dog Zuzu down in the sweating concrete bunkers and tunnels found below. There’s lots of antechamber rooms that line the tunnels of the subway system which are “off the beaten track,” both literally and figuratively. Water wouldn’t be much of an issue given the fact that most everything down there is dripping, and there’s a whole lot of protein available if you can figure out how to trap the rats. My belief is that, after a couple of weeks, the undead hordes would have moved off in search of sustenance to Brooklyn or New Jersey and it would be somewhat safe for us to return to daylight and Newtown Pentacle HQ. We would need to remain vigilant, of course.

The Real Estate guys would likely see a zombie apocalypse as an opportunity, and as long as the Dope from Park Slope over in City Hall survived, and remained on their payroll, it would be an excellent opportunity for them to institute yet another rezoning and loosen height restrictions on new construction.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

One does not believe that the unknown, inhuman, and impossible thing which dwells in the sapphire megalith would be responsible or endorse the zombies. Were such an impossible and inhuman thing to exist, staring down in covetous fashion upon the world of men with its three lobed burning eye, the thing in the cupola would see no profit in the mastication and depopulation of western Queens.

Its entire existence is dedicated to profit and exploitation, and revenants neither spend or borrow.

Upcoming Tours and events

First Calvary Cemetery walking tour, May 6th.

With Atlas Obscura’s Obscura Day 2017, Calvary Cemetery Walking Tour – details and tix here.

MAS Janeswalk free walking tour, May 7th.

Visit the new Newtown Creek Alliance/Broadway Stages green roof, and the NCA North Henry Street Project – details and tix here.

“follow” me on Twitter- @newtownpentacle

Written by Mitch Waxman

April 13, 2017 at 12:00 pm

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