The Newtown Pentacle

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Posts Tagged ‘Zombie Response Vehicle

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Zombie Response Vehicle in Queens.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

This Jeep was spotted at a service station found at the intersection of Northern Blvd. and Newtown Road just the other day, and it was adorned with multiple decals indicating that it was the property of a Zombie Response Team. I’m glad that someone is finally taking this sort of eventuality seriously. Somebody has to.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

There are plenty of zombie apocalypse “preppers” here in Western Queens, have no doubt about it. Caches of hand weapons abound in Astoria, and there are thousands of firearms hidden away in closets, basements, and garages – just in case of a manifest plague of Zombies (or a breakout at nearby Rikers, or a sudden influx of hipsters from Brooklyn). I didn’t know there was an organized vehicle fleet, but I must point out that this sort of vehicle would be somewhat inadequate for the sort of infestation that New York City would need to deal with. You’d really need an armored car or truck.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The big question that elected officials in Queens would ponder in a Zombie uprising would be whether or not Zombies could vote. If the walking dead could cast a ballot, would they reliably vote for Democrats? It wouldn’t be the first time that the population of a graveyard helped buoy an election victory around these parts, after all, and the Zombies would be courted by them. A brain in every pot, they would promise, and resolutions to outlaw blows to the cranium would be introduced by the City Council shortly afterward.

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Written by Mitch Waxman

May 22, 2014 at 11:00 am

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