The Newtown Pentacle

Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi

Archive for January 9th, 2015

loftiest reward

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Twirling, ever twirling.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Last week, occasion brought me to Red Hook to work on an assignment, and in accordance with my habit – a hasty retreat to the Smith 9th street station was enacted. One does not wish to find himself in Red Hook after dark, because… y’know, vampires. Just because you think they’re a myth doesn’t mean that your bloodless corpse won’t be found floating in the Gowanus early the next morning, nor that you won’t awaken as a starving lich on some coroners table in downtown Brooklyn.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Wonders can be observed here, in Red Hook, as it’s not all Lovecraftian horror around these parts. Well… allow me to rephrase that, as the area surrounding the Gowanus Expressway is fairly antithetical to human existence – but that’s why it makes such a great home for that colony of south Brooklyn vampires which have plagued the area for better than a century. It is said that the vampires arrived with a grain shipment from Germany in the early 1900’s, quickly established themselves in the neighborhood, and never left. Don’t be prejudiced against them, though, Vampires have to pay their tax just like everyone else. Dead or alive, no one beats the IRS.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

Legend has it that the Quadrozzi company has finally evicted the squatting Nosferatu from their nearby grain terminal building, where these vampires had been firmly ensconced for better than half a century. Speculation about whether or not these displaced nocturnes have made a new home in the high flying rafters of the Gowanus Expressway (neighborhood legend suggests that they hang upside down like bats in the perennial shadows of the roadway) remains just that, although area residents offer the complaint that the local cops won’t investigate anything that even remotely sounds like an exsanguination nor answer complaints about missing dogs.

– photo by Mitch Waxman

The living population of Red Hook actually miss the presence of NYC’s Five Families around these parts. Common knowledge states that the reason why the Vatican has so long tolerated the presence of the Italian Mafia is because of their track record when it comes to controlling and eliminating Vampires, which are the natural enemies of clerical and monkish populations. There are no greater Vampire killers than these racketeers, whose ranks have become sadly diminished around their former stronghold at the Gowanus.

Thanks Giuliani, thanks a whole lot.

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Written by Mitch Waxman

January 9, 2015 at 1:10 pm

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